Article 43

 

Spiritual Diversions

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Desperate Men

image: old man needs a job

Although certain types of jobs - such as working in a customer-service CALL CENTER - are more likely to be downers, the working environment tends to have a greater impact on mental health than the job description itself.

...we found that those respondents who were unemployed had significantly poorer mental health than those who were employed. However, the mental health of those who were unemployed was comparable or more often superior to those in jobs of the poorest psychosocial quality.  The current results therefore suggest that employment strategies seeking to promote positive outcomes for unemployed individuals need to also take account of job design and workplace policy.
- No Job Vs Lousy Job

Men at work
The age of austerity has transformed work, but what it means to be a man has not caught up

By Allison J, Pugh
December 15, 2015

When Gary Gilbert lost his job, it was devastating. A tradesman, he had joined his employers company only because he thought it offered a bit more security than endlessly chasing the next gig as a freelance operator, and that he could then provide a better future for his son. The layoff came without warning. “I was crushed,” he recalled. “Oh God. I’ve cried at night about it.”

While the layoff shattered his hopes and, Gary believes, was unwarranted, he refused to blame his employer. “I had no reason to take that job,” he explained. “I thought I was going to make a more stable environment, you know. And I was wrong, you know, but that - that was my fault. I shouldn’t have done it. I never should have let my guard down. I never should have put my livelihood in somebody else"s hands. It was the biggest mistake I ever made.”

Gar’s response is not untypical; recent research shows that Americans are more likely to blame themselves for job insecurity, even when it results from structural changes in the economy. I interviewed 80 people up and down the class ladder, and with varying experiences of job precariousness. I found that we do a lot to keep our strong feelings away from the employer, we shrug our shoulders in resignation, we talk about layoffs as new opportunities for growth, we even convince ourselves we are glad not to keep working there anyway. Most of all, we blame ourselves. And while that blame can be corrosive for both men and women, there is something unique in the scarring that results for men, who often see work as a primary measure of masculinity.

For working-class men, it is something of a crisis. There’s a lot of critical talk about the moral character of working-class men - generally conceived of as those with less than a college degree - and most of it revolves around work, reflecting some latent anxiety about who is shirking and who is carrying. We know they watch more television and do less childcare than working-class women, and are less likely than more affluent men to work long hours. Working-class men themselves value being “hard working” among the qualities they prize the most; for the white working-class men who march in the reserve army of US talk radio, working hard is highly prized, and deeply respected. It forms the bedrock of their outrage at those who, talk-radio culture likes to say, “refuse to work.” (For their part, black men value work but also talk about collective solidarity). Underneath the moral language on both sides is the notion of work as the arbiter of honour in the US.

Yet the landscape of jobs in the US has radically altered the configuration of who does what and for what benefit. In contrast to a few decades ago, a much higher percentage of women and people of colour are in the labour force: about 47 per cent of workers today are women, compared with 38 per cent in 1970, while the 36 per cent of non-white workers is almost double their proportion in 1980. Meanwhile, the proportion of men with full-time jobs has shrunk, from 80 per cent 45 years ago to just 66 per cent. The jobs men do have are also increasingly insecure at first due to shifts in types of work across the economy but, since 1996, likely due to the spread of layoffs as a management tactic.

Work might still be a moral measure then, but the distribution of work is increasingly uneven, with some men working too much and many men working too little, and both ensnared in conditions not entirely of their making. For men at the top, work colonises ever more of the days’ 24 hours, while those at the bottom, such as Gary, can face despair, hopelessness, even as was reported recently 0 declining life expectancy. And mens’ changed relationship to work bears implications for their changed relationships at home.

Masculinity has long been written in men’s relationship to work and, despite the onset of feminism, involved fathering, and the slacker, this is even truer today. In 1979, there was a certain rationality to the link between income and hours: the more you made, the less you worked. The bottom 20 per cent of earners were more likely than the top 20 per cent to work very long hours. By 2006, that relationship had reversed. Now, the more money men make, the more likely they are to put in what are often called killer hours. What is behind the reversal? Why would rich men work longer?

Scholars debate the causes. Some credit the long-hours, premium that professional-managerial class men earn meaning the extra money they get for near-constant availability and work - while others point to pay discrepancies within occupations acting as incentives for increased hours (men want to earn more than the guy in the next cubicle), and still others attribute the trend to anxieties about job insecurity that grew in the 1980s and 90s for white-collar workers.

But these arguments overlook the emotional resonance of work, its profound capacity to tell us something about ourselves. What it signals to men is a form of honourable masculinity, as expressed in the moral code of “work devotion,” demanding an enormous time investment and emotional commitment to the career or employer.

Men of the professional-managerial class are the big winners in this transformation of work. For them,"ёinsecurity" can look like “flexibility,” as they jump from company to company in search of a better match for their skills. Highly educated workers are less likely than blue-collar or low-level service workers to suffer job displacement, and when they do, they experience less of a pay loss.

Still, it is well to remember that even at the top the choices can often be strangely constrained: for most men, their only “choice” is either to work intensely or to get off the train. This all-or-nothing scenario has dramatic implications for men, women and families, impeding many men from being the fathers they want to be, funnelling out of promising careers many women who resist the extreme schedule and, for heterosexual couples, creating families that can explode over mismatched goals and possibilities, or conform to more traditional norms than the couple ever planned.

The transformation of work might have quickened the pace of the treadmill for professional men, but it has thrown other men off of it altogether. In the past 50 years, the number of men working full-time has fallen from 83 per cent to 66 per cent; between the 1970s and the ґ90s, the proportion of jobs lost by prime-age working men almost doubled. The change was even more dramatic for black men, partly because disproportionate numbers of them in the US were employed in the dwindling manufacturing sector, not to mention the disproportionate impact of incarceration policies. 

For those men who do work, pay has stagnated, with the purchasing power of the average hourly wage peaking more than 40 years ago in 1973.  These changes have accompanied the withering of unionised labour’s power, which the latest report puts at just 6.6 per cent of private-sector workers. Today, there are more than one and a half times as many contingent workers’ as there are union members in the US.

What does it mean to prize something to understand it as a primary measure of what it means to live a life of value - when it is becoming scarcer? How do men reconcile themselves to the likelihood of their own failure, particularly men with just a high-school degree, who are unemployed at more than three times the rate of college graduates? If work is what it means to be a man, what do you do when work disappears?

One option is to get angry. When I interviewed laid-off men for my recent book on job insecurity, their anger, or more often a wry bitterness, was impossible to forget. By and large, like Gary the laid-off tradesman, they were not angry at their employers.  At home, however, they sounded a different note. I have a very set opinion of relationships and how females handle them,ґ Gary told me, rather flatly. Itґs what Ive seen consistently throughout my life.Ғ On his third serious relationship, Gary talked about the hurt thatґs been caused to me by a lack of commitment on the part of other people, and he complained that Ғmarriage can be tossed out like a Pepsi can. In the winds of uncertainty, Garyђs anger at women keeps him grounded.

Most Americans might expect very little from their employers as one layoff survivor told me: ҖJust a paycheck and a certain amount of respect, I would say. They might shrug their shoulders about job insecurity as the inevitable cost of doing business in a globalised economy (even though some economists have found that layoffs usually end up costing firms rather than boosting stock prices or productivity). At home, however, workingѢclass men expect more of their intimate partners, and brittle yearning turns those expectations into betrayal if they fall short. Abandoned by both employer and wife, Gary aims his ire at just one of these.

It is wrong, however, to read this anger as simply the outrage of a dethroned king who has lost his prerogative. Working-class men such as Gary long for a time when they had rights to women
s loyalty, deference and caring labour, and when, in their view, they earned that right by virtue of the hard work they themselves contributed. The transformation of work dislodged their ability to put up their share of this bargain, one that netted them benefits, to be sure, but also involved years of their backbreaking labour. It is this morality tale that enables them to count themselves wronged, and lends such intensity to their concerns about those mythical emblems of entitlement: able-bodied people who refuse to work. What they want, they maintain, is the opportunity to work hard for their rightful place, to be a working-class hero.

Perhaps a more powerful response to the transformation of work is to change what counts as honourable masculinity. Some men I spoke with seemed to be pursuing a form of independenceђ. They owed employers as little as they themselves were owed which they maintained was not very much indeed ֖ and, at home, they cultivated a careful freedom, even when their feelings ran strong.

Stanley, an actor who had been laid off from several day jobs, was in the middle of a divorce. Bringing up the common trope of working on a marriageђ, he said that we need to redefine the term. Because the work changes,ђ he said. The work can be in letting go. Thatђs the right thing to do. So, yeah, thats all the work. Because I think bottling it up or denying it, if thatҒs what happens, its not going to work either.Ғ Independence dislodged men from domesticity, but although they sometimes celebrated it as freeing, their accounts often echoed with loneliness.

Others try to reshape masculinity not by shrinking obligation but by redirecting it towards the home. Clark had been laid off repeatedly, and was now struggling to bring in enough money by working part-time in retail and playing in a band on weekends.  He talked a lot about how he was raising his daughter making her home-cooked meals, meeting her at the bus, warning her about social media. ֑I wanted her to have a secure life, where she knew there was somebody there for her, he said.

The news is full of stories of involved fathers doing it differently than their own distant dads. To be sure, stay-at-home moms still outnumber stay-at-home dads by about 100 to one and, while fathers who live with their children have doubled their childcare time, they spend fewer hours with children than do mothers; meanwhile the percentage of non‑resident fathers has increased sharply since 1960, with more than a third of children now living without their dads. Still, many men today are finding purpose and meaning in a close relationship to their children.

When I talked with men who were active caregivers, they would often inveigh against those well-meaning but clumsy comments from others exclaiming over their extraordinary dedication; as Owen described them: ґWell-meaning people making comments like: Oh, gosh. Most men would have walked away.Ӕ Yadda yadda yadda. And that used to make me so mad I used to get offended by that.Œ Characterising what they do as a commendable choice is annoying because it implies that they might not have stepped up to do this refashioned masculine duty. It is precisely that it is not a choice, but instead part of their good character, their honourable soul, that makes active fatherhood an alternative heroic masculinity.

Nonetheless, most working‑class men such as Gary are trapped by a changing economy and an intransigent masculinity. Faced with changes that reduce the options for less-educated men, they have essentially three choices, none of them very likely. They can pursue more education than their family background or their school success has prepared them for. They can find a low-wage job in a high-growth sector, positions that are often considered womens work, such as a certified nursing assistant or retail cashier. Or they can take on more of the domestic labour at home, enabling their partners to take on more work to provide for the household. These are “choices” that either force them to be class pioneers or gender insurgents in their quest for a sustainable heroism; while both are laudable, we can hardly expect them of most men, and yet this is precisely the dilemma that faces men today.

What does it take to turn the anger of despairing men into violence? The grief and antagonism that erupt after every school shooting focus on either a prevailing gun culture or mental health problems, but masculinity is surely an indispensable component. Research has shown that the roots of these paroxysms of violence are in the toxic relationship between ґmasculinity threat Җ a mans individual perception that he cannot live up to the ideals of dominant masculinity - and a cultural betrayal, the sense that men are owed something they are no longer getting.

In the meantime, the code of work devotion is nothing but lucky for employers, part of the moral glue that keeps us all beholden to the job. But if theres a love affair happening with work, it is in large part unrequited. Employers have backed away from the old reciprocity norms, while affluent men labour ceaselessly to prove their mettle, and less advantaged men languish in despair. Is there any way we can respond?

It is worth pointing out that work precariousness is not inescapable; policies that encourage longer-term employment do exist in other countries (and some states). They are of three kinds. The first rewards employers who want to offer stable work, through such ideas as ґshort-time compensation, or the use of unemployment insurance to enable work-sharing instead of layoffs. The second builds stronger relationships between employers and workers, including incentives for workplace training, or an improved accountability framework holding employers responsible even for subcontracted or outsourced labour. The third makes it easier for workers to do their jobs well, such as paid parental leave or measures to improve unpredictable scheduling.

But there’s reason for skepticism about any policies that fall short of those that amplify labour’s voice, which in the US is now quite muted. Other rich countries with higher union density take steps to enable both employer flexibility and worker security, through income supports and retraining. In the US, better enforcement of labour law provisions that protect the right to organise would enable workers to slow down or impede layoffs, or to shape how they happen. A more subtle outcome would nonetheless be just as important: some scholars think that, just like the black church seems to do for black men, unions could remind more white working-class men to prize not just “hard work” but also solidarity and other values. 

While we can tackle the distribution and character of work, it is less clear whether we can dislodge its moral monopoly. Given radical economic shifts, perhaps more men will redefine the honourable, so that dominant masculinity reflects other traits and qualities, perhaps even contributions that more of them can reliably make. Still, we must not underestimate a core attribute about masculinity: it has long involved social norms that are widely understood and upheld but that only a few can actually live up to. Given that history, we cannot assume that the increased scarcity of a decent job will weaken the hold it has over honour, nor lead to masculinity’s remaking. That will require another seismic shift, this time in the cultural landscape.

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Posted by Elvis on 08/10/17 •
Section Dying America • Section Spiritual Diversions • Section Personal
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Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Deaths Of Despair

image: Depression

The mental health of the unemployed deteriorates the longer they are out of work and this is a barrier to securing future employment, research has found. While different ways to reach this group are being trialled, no solution is firmly in sight.
- Daily Mercury, Feb 9, 2016

1st Scientific Analysis of Suicide Notes Lends Insights into the Heartbreaking Act

By Philip Perry
Big Think
April 4, 2017

For decades, the mortality rate across the US WAS IN DECLINE. That’s why the results of a 2015 report were so shocking. For the first time in generations, middle-aged white people saw their death rate increase. Husband and wife economists Anne Case and Angus Deaton discovered this disturbing trend, which began back in 1999. The researchers labeled these “deaths of despair,” resulting from SUICIDE, drug or alcohol abuse.

Approximately 40,000 PEOPLE take their own lives each year in the US. A NEW BOOK tries to isolate the origins of the uptick, currently at a 30-year high, and what can be done. The upward trend was found in all age groups, absent the elderly. Now a new book is lending greater insights into this most personal of tragic acts. Its entitled Explaining Suicide: Patterns, Motivations and What Notes Reveal. The authors say this is the first sweeping, analytical attempt to understand the motivations behind the act, across different age groups.

A multidisciplinary team of academics was involved in this study. They were psychology professor Cheryl Meyer at Wright State University, psychologist Taronish Irani at SUNY-Buffalo State, historian Katherine Hermes at Central Connecticut University, and the late Betty Yung, who was an associate professor of psychology at Wright State University. They wanted to obtain a holistic view using psychology, history, and the social sciences to tackle suicide.

To conduct the study, which would form the basis of the book, researchers examined suicide datasets extensively, including from places as far away as Europe and Oceania. They also collected 1,280 suicide notes from coronerҒs offices across Southwestern Ohio, written between 2000 and 2009. These werent all notes in the literal sense. Many were pictures of notes written on mirrors, towels, coffee filters, and more. One man even spray painted his note on the floor of his barn.

Last words such as these are only found in 14% of cases. The authors began to notice differences between note leavers and non-leavers in their research, as well as people who attempt suicide and those who complete the act. They believe these findings could help develop better suicide prevention strategies.

The academics also evaluated motivating factors, and to what extent each is capable of pushing a person toward suicide. These included: mental illness, substance abuse, interpersonal violence, physical pain, grief, and feelings of failure. They also explored what factors may help protect one against suicide, and make them more resilient. Meyer said after reading all the notes and examining the data, she knew they had a book on their hands.

Many notes were addressed to one person. Others were to no one in particular. There was even someone who addressed the note to their dog. Meyer said it’s hard to understand why some people leave a note and others don’t. According to their research, it all comes down to WHAT MOTIVATED the suicide.

There is a faction of note leavers who lash out at the person or group who controlled, manipulated, neglected, or abused them. But most absolve loved ones of any guilt. 70% were motivated to escape overbearing pain, be it physical or psychological. Nowadays, being a white male is the single biggest risk factor. WHY IS THAT? According to Case and Deaton, drastic changes in the LABOR MARKET is the MOST SIGNIFICANT factor. Meyer claims another driver.

“Hegemonic masculinity,” or a perception that heightened MASCULINITY must be portrayed at all times, a goal that no male can live up to. Sooner or later everyone needs to be vulnerable and let their emotions out. This inability to fit into such a rigid framework causes psychological pain in the form of guilt, shame, disgust, and self-hatred. This builds to the point where the person can no longer take it.

Another 23% of note writers ended it all due to unrequited love or love lost. 22% said they themselves created the problem which led to their decision. This includes the loss of a job, a breakup or divorce, legal troubles, arrest or an impending jail sentence, a looming financial problem, or a devastating medical diagnosis. Meyer says thereԒs a correlation between legal troubles and taking ones own life. “There is a really strong tie between things like DUIs and killing yourself,” she said.

The vast majority of notes absolved love ones, saying nothing could have been done to prevent the act. Most people who commit suicide find their own pain too overwhelming to bear. About a third of the notes mention religion, faith, or God. More women left notes than men. And oddly enough, more of the notes were written on the first of the month than any other day.

ItҒs unfortunate that many people have been touched by suicide in one way or another, yet most are resistant to talking about it. The authors hope the book will help those who are wrestling with it, or who have been hurt by someone who committed it, to speak out, and seek help. So what can we do to help lower instances of suicide? Meyer suggests limiting access to guns, dangerous pharmaceuticals, and other common means.

She also thinks everyone should take a course, much like how we go through driverӒs ed. to acquire a driverԒs license. Every student would be taught to recognize the warning signs and know how to get the person the help they need. Adults in higher or continuing education or the elderly in senior centers could also be offered such a course.

The biggest preventative aspect according to Meyer, rather than sense of resiliency, is acquiring more social connections and developing ones own sense of purpose. Those who feel isolated or adrift are more likely to consider suicide. “Part of it is the responsibility of the individual, but part of it is our responsibility of keeping that person connected,” she said. We usually perceive the warning signs, but don’t feel it’s right to interfere.

“In the coroners’ reports that we viewed, many people had called for welfare checks on their loved ones. They knew or feared that the person had harmed or killed himself or herself. If the impulse to intervene had occurred at an earlier point, the suicide might have been interrupted and averted. We must learn to trust our guts and to get past our own fears when someone is in trouble and in need of help.”

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Posted by Elvis on 05/30/17 •
Section Dying America • Section Spiritual Diversions • Section Personal
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Friday, January 27, 2017

Dark Side Of An Empath

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The Dark Side of an Empath
The Minds Journal Editorial

You see them walk around wearing their soul on their sleeves; empaths are the smiling, ever glowing and compassionate souls.

I believe everyone has equal of light and darkness within them, empaths are those who emphasize on the light within in them and also believe in spreading it. People take them as someone meant to dispel the darkness but what they dont realize is anything that emits light burns within, be it the sun, a filament bulb or a candle. Emapths are no exception.

They feel things; understand things which no one else can. Empaths have this unexplainable gift which comes with a high cost and many cons. The energy they are surrounded with talks to their soul, words is mere formality. By the time you finish formal introduction, his soul will have taken yours for a walk. This might sound baffling but an empath doesnҒt need to spend days, months or years with you to know what youre made of. Just a touch of your soul i.e. few minutes and he will have sensed the energy in you and in another minutes your souls would be playing together.

Looks like a happy world, doesnҒt it? But my dear, the world is fucked up place; there are also toxic people, the abusive scavengers who just want their selfish motives fulfilled. Any sane person in their right mind would avoid such people; at least after knowing them but our hero here, the empaths wont do so. ґNo is way too rude for an empath to speak and is rarely constituted in their vocabulary. As a result the empath allows itself to be manipulated, used and abused but still believes they are doing it for a greater good and their utmost purpose i.e. illuminating. Mind you, here the empaths don’t just drive the darkness away but absorb it and confide it within them. An empath suffers in silence, no matter how much he is suffocating from the hands of darkness around his throat, still smiles and is always ready to extend his hands for help. It takes every bit of his strength to not give in to the darkness.

He has his demons to fight, his flaws to correct and depression to deal with but my dear, you first. They always put others before them. It doesn’t require a personal tragedy for them to suffer. While a death of a child shown in news may make everyone sad for awhile but for empaths, it strikes hard, the impact is dense and deep. Even if they wanted to they couldnҒt feel less intensely. There is a tsunami taking its toll inside them but even for a second they wont lose their composure. There are rarely any occasions where they break down and lose control.

If you think that’s messed up, there is still more to come. As empaths are sensitive to energy and vibration around them, company is not their cup of tea, or coffee, whatever you prefer. When they are around too many people the various type of energy confuses them and triggers a chaos within them. They seek solitude to let the tides settle and get their composure back. Though a lonely soul, an empath desires for a companion or at least be in a company with people who love them and accept them for who they actually are. An empath knows no boundary of love, it often makes people suspicious of how could someone possibly shower so much love in such short time of knowing each other.

People cannot take love in high dose, its a tragic fact that empaths are often dumped saying ґyoure too good for me.Ғ Well that makes no sense to me but if I have to deduce it then may be its a fear of not being able to reciprocate. Maybe. IDK.

This desire to be loved and wanted often leads them to fall prey to the manipulators and thereafter be exploited and abused.

They are literally blinded by love and generosity in their heart, so much that they are often willingly led into traps of narcissists. Those who pose to be exploited and victimized pull them in and our hero the savior walks in to take the pain way, in quest to drive out their darkness fall into their nasty games. Empaths are not made of stones and they do feel the pain. Even when they know there is danger ahead they cannot resist this urge to help. They find their escape in rescuing others. They have this feeling that by helping others, they are helping themselves.

They cannot light other lives while keeping theirs dark forever. The refusal to address their own pain doesn’t serve them good in the long run. The struggle for empaths is harder as they dont only deal with their pain but also those which absorbed from others. It’s not like they have no idea of the burdens they carry or the sufferings they are going through but they seek the remedy of their sufferings and pain that lives within them in illuminating someone elses life.

It’s for the empaths to feel any emotion more penetratingly than others. No wonder they have to deal with most heartaches and pain but they just dont give in to the dark side. Such pain could be avoided by learning to cope with all the energies around, they need to distinguish between the emotions that belongs them and that ones that emanate from outside.

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Posted by Elvis on 01/27/17 •
Section Spiritual Diversions
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Sunday, August 21, 2016

Emotional Intelligent

image: brain of hightly emotionally intelligent people

About Emotional Intelligence

By TalentSmart

Emotional Intelligence Is the Other Kind of Smart.

When emotional intelligence first appeared to the masses in 1995, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into what many people had always assumed was the sole source of successIQ. Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack.

Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results. Emotional intelligence is made up of four core skills that pair up under two primary competencies: personal competence and social competence.

Personal competence is made up of your self-awareness and self-management skills, which focus more on you individually than on your interactions with other people. Personal competence is your ability to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies.

Self-Awareness is your ability to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen.

Self-Management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior.

Social competence is made up of your social awareness and relationship management skills; social competence is your ability to understand other peoples moods, behavior, and motives in order to improve the quality of your relationships.

Social Awareness is your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on.

Relationship Management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions and the othersҒ emotions to manage interactions successfully.

Emotional Intelligence, IQ, and Personality Are Different.

Emotional intelligence taps into a fundamental element of human behavior that is distinct from your intellect. There is no known connection between IQ and emotional intelligence; you simply can’t predict emotional intelligence based on how smart someone is. Intelligence is your ability to learn, and it’s the same at age 15 as it is at age 50. Emotional intelligence, on the other hand, is a flexible set of skills that can be acquired and improved with practice. Although some people are naturally more emotionally intelligent than others, you can develop high emotional intelligence even if you arent born with it.

Personality is the final piece of the puzzle. It’s the stable “style” that defines each of us. Personality is the result of hard-wired preferences, such as the inclination toward introversion or extroversion. However, like IQ, personality can’t be used to predict emotional intelligence. Also like IQ, personality is stable over a lifetime and doesn’t change. IQ, emotional intelligence, and personality each cover unique ground and help to explain what makes a person tick.

Emotional Intelligence Is Linked to Performance.

How much of an impact does emotional intelligence have on your professional success? The short answer is: a lot! Its a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with a tremendous result. TalentSmart tested emotional intelligence alongside 33 other important workplace skills, and found that emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance, explaining a full 58% of success in all types of jobs.

Your emotional intelligence is the foundation for a host of critical skills - it impacts most everything you say and do each day.

Of all the people weve studied at work, weҒve found that 90% of top performers are also high in emotional intelligence. On the flip side, just 20% of bottom performers are high in emotional intelligence. You can be a top performer without emotional intelligence, but the chances are slim. Naturally, people with a high degree of emotional intelligence make more moneyan average of $29,000 more per year than people with a low degree of emotional intelligence. The link between emotional intelligence and earnings is so direct that every point increase in emotional intelligence adds $1,300 to an annual salary. These findings hold true for people in all industries, at all levels, in every region of the world. We havenגt yet been able to find a job in which performance and pay arent tied closely to emotional intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence Can Be Developed.

The communication between your emotional and rational ғbrains is the physical source of emotional intelligence. The pathway for emotional intelligence starts in the brain, at the spinal cord. Your primary senses enter here and must travel to the front of your brain before you can think rationally about your experience. However, first they travel through the limbic system, the place where emotions are generated. So, we have an emotional reaction to events before our rational mind is able to engage. Emotional intelligence requires effective communication between the rational and emotional centers of the brain.

“Plasticity” is the term neurologists use to describe the brain’s ability to change. Your brain grows new connections as you learn new skills. The change is gradual, as your brain cells develop new connections to speed the efficiency of new skills acquired.

Using strategies to increase your emotional intelligence allows the billions of microscopic neurons lining the road between the rational and emotional centers of your brain to branch off small arms (much like a tree) to reach out to the other cells. A single cell can grow 15,000 connections with its neighbors. This chain reaction of growth ensures its easier to kick this new behavior into action in the future. Once you train your brain by repeatedly using new emotional intelligence strategies, emotionally intelligent behaviors become habits.

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image: habits of hightly emotionally intelligent people

9 Habits Of Highly Emotionally Intelligent People

By Dr. Travis Bradberry
August 20, 2016

When emotional intelligence first appeared to the masses, it threw a massive wrench into what many people had always assumed was the sole source of success--IQ.

How much of an impact does emotional intelligence (EQ) have on your personal and professional success? The short answer is: a lot! It’s a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with a tremendous result.

Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results. Emotional intelligence is made up of four core skills that pair up under two primary competencies: personal competence and social competence.

Personal competence comprises your self-awareness and self-management skills, which focus more on you individually than on your interactions with other people. Personal competence is your ability to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies.

Self-Awareness is your ability to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen.

Self-Management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior.

Social competence is made up of your social awareness and relationship management skills; social competence is your ability to understand other people’s moods, behavior, and motives in order to respond effectively and improve the quality of your relationships.

Social Awareness is your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on.

Relationship Management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions and the others’ emotions to manage interactions successfully.

Despite the significance of emotional intelligence, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to know which behaviors you should emulate. So I’ve analyzed the data from the million-plus people TalentSmart has tested in order to identify the habits that set high-EQ people apart.

1. They’re relentlessly positive. Keep your eyes on the news for any length of time, and you’ll see that it’s just one endless cycle of war, violent attacks, fragile economies, failing companies, and environmental disasters. It’s easy to think the world is headed downhill fast. And who knows? Maybe it is. But emotionally intelligent people don’t worry about that because they don’t get caught up in things they can’t control. They focus their energy on directing the two things that are completely within their power--their attention and their effort. Numerous studies have shown that optimists are physically and psychologically healthier than pessimists. They also perform better at work. Remind yourself of this the next time a negative train of thought takes hold of you.

2. They have a robust emotional vocabulary. All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions. People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

3. They’re assertive. People with high EQs balance good manners, empathy, and kindness with the ability to assert themselves and establish boundaries. This tactful combination is ideal for handling conflict. When most people are crossed, they default to passive or aggressive behavior. Emotionally intelligent people remain balanced and assertive by steering themselves away from unfiltered emotional reactions. This enables them to neutralize difficult and toxic people without creating enemies.

4. They’re curious about other people. It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.

5. They forgive, but they don’t forget. Emotionally intelligent people live by the motto “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” They forgive in order to prevent a grudge, but they never forget. The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Holding on to that stress can have devastating health consequences, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. However, offering forgiveness doesn’t mean they’ll give a wrongdoer another chance. Emotionally intelligent people will not be bogged down by mistreatment from others, so they quickly let things go and are assertive in protecting themselves from future harm.

6. They won’t let anyone limit their joy. When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or accomplishments take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain--you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.

7. They make things fun. Emotionally intelligent people know exactly what makes them happy, and they constantly work to bring this happiness into everything they do. They turn monotonous work into games, go the extra mile to make people they care about happy, and take breaks to enjoy the things they love no matter how busy they are. They know that injecting this fun into their lives fights off stress and builds lasting resilience.

8. They are difficult to offend. If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin.

9. They squash negative self-talk. A big step in developing emotional intelligence involves stopping negative self-talk in its tracks. The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that--thoughts, not facts. You can stop the negative and pessimistic things your inner voice says by writing them down. Once you’ve taken a moment to slow down the negative momentum of your thoughts, you will be more rational and clear-headed in evaluating their veracity. You can bet that your statements aren’t true any time you use words such as “never,” “worst,” and “ever.” If your statements still look like facts once they’re on paper, take them to a friend and see if he or she agrees with you. Then the truth will surely come out.

Bringing It All Together

Unlike your IQ, your EQ is highly malleable. As you train your brain by repeatedly practicing new emotionally intelligent behaviors, your brain builds the pathways needed to make them into habits. Before long, you will begin responding to your surroundings with emotional intelligence without even having to think about it. And as your brain reinforces the use of new behaviors, the connections supporting old, destructive behaviors will die off.

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Posted by Elvis on 08/21/16 •
Section Spiritual Diversions
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Monday, August 08, 2016

Brainwashed Kids

image: zombies

7 Ways Our Children Are Being Brainwashed

By Gregg Prescott, M.S.
Editor, In5D.com
January 11, 2015

From birth, virtually all of us have been brainwashed through various outlets that encourage materialism, ego, subservience, control and conformity. But where do the origins of mind control begin and what can we do about it?

1. Religion

AS CHILDREN, the brainwashing begins in the church when we are baptized.  Many parents do not question baptism or the origins of it and blindly have their children baptized as the church welcomes them into the community in the name of Jesus Christ. The Jesus story, alone, isn’t questioned by enough Christians who blindly believe anything they are told in the name of “faith.”

I’d like to believe there is a Santa Claus and an Easter Bunny, too. These holidays both have Pagan origins, yet Christians never question these either. Its all part of the lie propagated to us by religion.

Many Christians will argue that their church does good things for others while the bible provides good morals and values.

A counter-argument is that you donҒt need a church to do good things for others or a bible to be a morally sound person. Additionally, the bible also teaches hatred and fear such as when God allegedly kills everyone with the Great FloodӔ, except Noah and his family.

These are the horror stories our children learn in Sunday school.  Not only that, but the messages are often convoluted and ambiguous. What kind of message are we sending our children?

While the bible provides nice parables to learn from, they are not necessary, especially with all of the other negative content provided by religion.

And we havent even touched all of the unnecessary deaths through inquisitions and crusades which continue today. Killing innocent people seems to have a common theme in religion and is carried on to our children as they become toddlers.

With the idea planted that it is alright to kill in the name of God, our children begin to emulate these preconceived ideas through the games they play.

2. Ridiculous role models

Boys play with cork guns and cap guns and begin to play ғCowboys and Indians at a young age.  Think about how appalling this is, not only to indigenous people but also teaching a child to kill as a ԓgame.

They also are bought G.I. Joe action figures and pretend to kill opposing troops. Plastic figurines of soldiers in combat are sold to children, some of which prominently display ethnicity, which plays into the divide and conquer mentality that is seeded at this age.

Most girls have played with a Barbie doll at some point in their life.  The Barbie doll sets the stage for materialistic attitudes as well as buying into the Cosmo girl image. It also dictates the role and expectations of what a woman should look like while dividing our children in stereotyped roles for the rest of their lives.

3. Money, ego and materialism

We often ask our children, What do you want to be when you grow up?” Rarely does a child say, “A healer” or “A yoga instructor.” Often, a parent will help to persuade a child into a lucrative job role such becoming a doctor or lawyer.

The need for money is further enhanced through board games such as Monopoly and Life, where our children learn greed through bankrupting their friends. While there are some positive attributes of these games, the bottom line is how they support a positive view of the banksters who have corrupted this planet while emphasizing materialism and greed.

The latest bankster game involves CASHLESS MONOPOLY

What are kids really learning in the GAME OF LIFE?

4. Divide and conquer techniques

Our children are taught how to play sports and the importance of winning. While sports provide exercise and promote physical dexterity and good health, they also play into the ”DIVIDE AND CONQUER” mentality that our children will carry with them for the rest of their lives.

How many asinine arguments have you seen between two grown men arguing whose team or player (OR JOB) is better than the other? First of all, it’s not “their” team unless they have physical ownership of it.  Secondly, the two players theyre arguing about probably could care less about their argument.  Lastly, these two people are too blind to see how they’re still buying into the divide and conquer mentality that was engrained within them since they began playing “Cowboys and Indians” at a young age.

The game is blatantly being played before our own eyes, yet many of us fail to see it.  For example, if the Dallas Cowboys were to play the Kansas City Chiefs (or Washington Redskins), then you have your classic Cowboys vs. Indiansӓ matchup.  Its all about ԒMy tribe is better than ӔYour Tribe which keeps us separated as people.

5. Television

Many of us grew up watching television which can be a humorous outlet or an opportunity to actually learn something, but for the most part, it gets us accustomed and hypnotized into subservience once our brains enter the alpha state of conditioning.  How many times have you sat through a commercial, knowing fully how much you despise the commercial without changing the channel?

Albert Bandura has a theory of modeling where the child will emulate the parent’s behavior.  This is why the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. In the absence of the parent(s), the child will be influenced by what he or she sees on television, further influencing their materialistic and ego-ladened views of society, while accepting television as a normal part of their daily routine.

The entire MAIN STREAM MEDIA (radio, television, magazines, book publishers, etc) are owned by 6 corporations who greatly influence our children through PROGRAMMING.  Even the word “programming” should be questioned, because this is exactly what brainwashing does it programs our minds and especially, the minds of children who are easily influenced.

6. Education

Our educational systems encourage conformity and competition while suppressing or ignoring any special abilities a child may have, such as the ability to have an out of body experience. In addition, our children are not learning the true history of our origin while being forced to learn a propaganda filled view of what history looks like through biased eyes.

The textbooks our children read are printed by companies who, ultimately, are Zionist owned.  What are the chances that a Zionist view would differ from the view of a Palestinian or someone who opposes Zionism?

7. Health

In a recent article entitled, ӅThe HIDDEN History Of Fluoride the addition to fluoride in our water supply as well as in chemtrails has helped to dumb down the population in order to make us more subservient and controllable.

Part of the hidden history of fluoride includes the following:

1940 Soviet concentration camps maintained by fluoride administration to inmates to decrease resistance to authority and induce physical deteriorization.

1950 Soviets add fluoride to water in prison system to maintain subservience in the inmate population.

1954 C.E.Perkins, I.G.Farben chemist, admits fluoride is to reduce resistance in people to authority.

Robert Carton, PhD formerly President of the union of Government Scientists working at the US Environmental Protection Agency said: “Water fluoridation is the greatest case of scientific fraud of this century, if not of all time.”

If fluoride has been proven to create subservience in prison and concentration camps, then what is it doing to our children who refuse to question authority figures or any official government position that is against the best interests of humanity?

One must also question the insurmountable number of vaccines our children receive. There is NO amount of mercury that is acceptable in the human body, so one must ask how ANY mercury will affect our newborn children? With the incresing number of vaccines our children receive, we also see a correlation to the number of deaths due to vaccinations as well as an exponential rise in autism.

What can I do about this?

1. Realize that as long as there is money, we are ALL economic slaves.

It all happens by the age of 12-14. One thing we donӔt teach our children is how accumulated wealth is a delusional idea which inconspicuously facilitates status, security and happiness, all of which are inherent without money, yet we have been engrained in this illusion that separates us as a global society while maintaining barbaric divide and conquer principles in a capitalist society masquerading as a democracy.

At what point is enough, enoughғ?

2. Ask questions a lot of them!

Our children should be encouraged to ASK QUESTIONS as AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE instead of regurgitating the state-sponsored propaganda that our schools teach.

For example, because of corporate greed, we are creating an unsustainable society.  The use of fossil fuels is a ridiculous proposition within itself to assume that all of the world’s oil came from decomposed dinosaurs, but its even more asinine to assume we even need oil for fuel when hydro technologies are available, such as the water powered car invented by Stanley Meyer or Tesla’s free energy system.

Innovators, such as Meyer, are rewardedԓ by threats and execution by those who fear the loss of power. The simplest answer is to open source all inventions, including suppressed technologies.

Our children never learn these truths in school because according to our economic slave masters, innovation only comes at the expense of need, not conformity.

Our children should be encouraged to be the innovators of the future who work in the best interests of humanity instead of CEOs and business executives who are pillaging our planet at the expense of the 99% who are enslaved beneath them.

3. Think outside the box

Our educational system does not encourage creative thinking and the majority of what our children learn is all left-hemisphere thinking, which is mathematical and logic based, instead of right hemisphered, which is artistic and creative. By doing so, our children are essentially being trained to work either inside a cubicle or at a fast food restaurant because they never learned the tools of creativity and how to follow their life purpose versus being forced into the corporate world of economic subservience until they are 65 years old.

4. STOP WATCHING (STATE SPONSORED PROPAGANDA) TELEVISION!!!

Watching TV is arguably the #1 brainwashing tool of the corporate elite as the television will tell you what to wear and how to think while taking away your own ability to think critically for yourself.

The news programs are designed to keep us living in perpetual fear because when we live in fear, we move further away from our true spiritual essence. The use of fear also makes us more controllable as a population where we eventually give up our civil rights in exchange for perceived security.

The commercials are just as bad as any Ԓprogramming. Most TV commercials show extroverts who are specifically dressed in a certain way with clothing that appeals to your senses in subliminal ways.

5. Try to eliminate as much fluoride from your daily routine.

Not only does fluoride help to contribute to a more subservient population, it also calcifies your pineal gland, otherwise known as the Ӕ3rd eye. Your pineal gland is a gateway to other dimensions, so if it is calcified, then you will be limiting your utmost ability for creative thought and expression as well as dimming your spiritual connection to Creator and your higher self.

The further you move away from spirituality, the easier it is for you to be controlled.

6. Research the detriments of vaccinations.

Please keep in mind that there is NO amount of mercury that is good for anyone, especially children!

7. Do NOT ingest any genetically modified foods (or processed foods)

There have been NO longitudinal studies on the effect of GMOӔs on our bodies, so we are all literally guinea pigs being tested.

One thing you might want to consider is the poison that is built into specific foods, such as GMO corn. When a bug eats GMO corn, it explodes from the inside out because the BT Toxin is not in the husk of the corn, but it the corn, itself. Imagine what this corn is doing to you and your children?

Try to buy organic food or grow your own with organic heirloom seeds. When shopping at the grocery store, avoid just about all products in the middle aisles as they are generally all processed foods.

8. Teach your children how to meditate.

Meditation has the potential to literally transform the world. In 1978, what is known as the Maharishi Effectғ a group of 7000 individuals over the course of 3 weeks were meditating in hopes of positively effecting the surrounding city. They were able to literally transform the collective energy of the city which reduced global crime rates, violence, and casualties during the times of their meditation by an average of 16%. Suicide rates and automobile accidents also were reduced with all variables accounted for. In fact, there was a 72% reduction in terrorist activity during the times at which this group was meditation.

When you meditate, you look within for answers instead of relying on other peoples opinions, whether religious, political or educational. The truth is ALWAYS within. Anything you have ever been taught has been something that was regurgitated by someone else. Look within and you will find the answers you are looking for.

Can you envision world without money?

If you can’t envision a world without money, then you will probably have a difficult time understanding the future, especially if you watch a lot of television.

In the future, when a child is asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” they will answer, “Me” and will have a concrete idea “who me” is versus the children who have been raised to worship the almighty dollar as they blindly follow the flock ahead of them through religious and educational institutions.

We have been brainwashed for over 2,000 years.  Its time to break the chains.

SOURCE

Posted by Elvis on 08/08/16 •
Section Spiritual Diversions
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