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Personal

Monday, April 16, 2018

What Not to Say To An Isolated Older Adult

unhappy old man

Well-intentioned comments can reinforce feelings of loneliness

By Michelle Seitzer
Next Avenue
April 16, 2018

When MaryKay Kubotas husband died unexpectedly at 49, she felt that the world kept going for everyone but her. Until that moment, the then 47-year-old mother of four, who had married at 19, managed their family’s fast-paced social life. “I didn’t have to think about what was next,” Kubota said. But after her husband’s death, even with two children still at home, “everything just stopped,” she recalled.

As her grief escalated, so did her feeling of abandonment.

“Nobody knew what to say in the situation, so they just left me alone,” said Kubota. Though they offered the standard “Let me know what you need,” Kubota, facing responsibilities she really couldn’t manage on her own, found it hard to ask for help.

Loss Upon Loss

Kubota’s siblings, afraid to upset her by talking about her husband, were not present or helpful when she needed them most. She felt disconnected at her job in commercial real estate. “I was in a fog for at least a year,” she said.

Realizing she lost more than just her husband (her normal, the support of her siblings, a direction in life) was an “aha moment” for Kubota, 68, who now resides in Seal Beach, Calif. But in those early days after his passing, when she was left alone to manage daily life and deal with her grief, Kubota was launched into a long-lasting cycle of isolation, depression and loneliness.

Isolation Doesn’t Stand Alone

Many older adults find themselves in this cycle of compounded loss, but it should never be considered the norm for this stage of life.

Loneliness and social isolation are now believed to be as dangerous to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and surpass the mortality risks of obesity. A 2017 SCAN survey of 1,000 older adults uncovered this compelling statistic: 82 percent of those 65 and up know at least one person who is lonely, yet 58 percent would be reluctant to admit it if they themselves felt isolated.

Even those who live with others can feel lonely.

At 51, Sandra Hallows of Burnaby, British Columbia, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Her husband, Jolyon, then 55, became her primary caregiver.

From losing her driver’s license to the friends who’d say “we’ll call later,” and never did, Sandra Hallows felt the sting of isolation immediately following her diagnosis. For Jolyon, the isolation happened over time: As his wife’s disease progressed, both were robbed of conversation and communication, and he was left to watch the woman he loved disappear over two decades. She died in early 2017.

Practical Tips for Breaking Through Isolation

The faces of grief and loneliness are individualized and complex. But for many, it’s a vicious cycle of feeling lonely and depressed which perpetuates isolation and grief that extends beyond the usual time, said Dr. Romilla Batra, chief medical officer for SCAN.

Recognizing that very real struggle - and the cyclical, non-linear aspect of it - is huge in terms of helping the individual, rather than pushing him or her further down isolation’s road.

Here are four things not to say to someone isolated, according to experts, and what to do instead:

1. What Not to Say: “Oh, that was so long ago”

A person needs to be able to grieve without feeling guilty, Kubota said. People can’t just “deal with it and move on.”

What to Do Instead: Give the person adequate time - perhaps even a lifetime - to grieve.

Two weeks after her husband died, Kubota remembers all contact from loved ones dropped off. “Keep the cards coming. Keep visiting. Keep asking how we’re doing, even when we’re not good company,” recommended Kubota.

When friends and family asked questions like “How are you doing?” with the intention of truly listening, the empathy and VALIDATION was invaluable to Jolyon - Hallows, he said.

2. What Not to Say: “Let me know how I can help”

Unless you plan to deliver on your promise, this usually well-intended phrase only serves to push an already isolated individual further into isolation. “I would make up stories in my mind as to why they couldn’t help,” Kubota said. And in doing so, she began taking the blame for her loneliness.

What to Do Instead: Hallows appreciated the FRIENDS who would bring dessert when he invited them over for dinner. “Fattening and thoughtful,” he said.

3. What Not to Say: “You must be doing better since”

Even after Kubota moved to a more active community and started a job that required intense social interaction, isolation was a daily struggle, one which she had to intentionally overcome. “You can do what you love, but you still come home alone,” she said.

What to Do Instead: Being socially involved or active doesn’t erase the risk or pain of isolation. Even the telephone and TV did not interest or comfort Kubota when she was at her loneliest. But, she said, that doesn’t mean you shouldnt call, adding: “We still need to talk to someone.”

4. What Not to Say: You should go out and enjoy yourself more often”

Large group activities or entertainment shouldn’t be the only solution for LONELINESS, said Paul Falkowski, founder and executive director of Omaha-based Community 360, a nonprofit that recruits and trains trusted volunteers to visit older adults in nursing homes.

“The deep-seated need to feel that someone cares about them cannot be met in those [large-group] activities,” he said. An older woman living in a nursing home once said to me, “I have a lot of people around me, but there is no one here just for me.”

What to Do Instead: Encourage creativity, self-discovery and new traditions. When Kubota rediscovered her identity, she found a better way out of isolation. “I had to remember who I was and what I loved before I was a wife and mother,” she said. Since then, she’s started painting again and participates in a fitness boot camp where she’s at least 20 years older than most in her class.

Ultimately, letting go of the “used to” or “can’t do” was huge for Kubota. Her life was not over. By sharing her story, she hopes others in isolation will know they’re not alone and will find the people, places and purposeful activities to help them engage again.

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Posted by Elvis on 04/16/18 •
Section Personal
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Thursday, March 15, 2018

Failure

image: failure - when yourbest isnt good enough

I OPENED THIS SITE back in 2004 WRITING ABOUT the EROSION of MIDDLE CLASS AMERICA and MORE PERSONALLY - long term unemployment/underemployment - that DESTROYED my hope for any kind of happy RETIREMENT - and replaced it with PRAYERS for an early DEATH.

14 years later I’m still wondering HOW MUCH FURTHER down a hole A LOT of AMERICANS can SINK.

image: bls table A-12 march 2018

Long-term Unemployment, Its Causes and Effects
Why 1.4 Million Can’t Find Work Even After Looking for 6 Months

By Kimberly Amadeo
March 9, 2018

Long-term unemployment is when workers are jobless for 27 weeks or more. To be counted as such by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, they must have actively sought employment during the previous four weeks. That means the number of long-term unemployed is probably under-counted. Most people become discouraged and DROP OUT OF THE LABOR FORCE AFTER SIX MONTHS. They are not included in the labor force participation

Long-term Unemployment Statistics

In February 2018, there were 1.397 million long-term unemployed individuals. There are 20.8 percent of the unemployed who have been looking for work for six months or more. That’s better than the record high of 46 percent in the second quarter of 2010. The number of unemployed first dropped below 2 million in May 2015.

The rate is also better than the darkest days of the 1981 recession. At that point, 26 percent of the unemployed were out of work for more than six months. Total unemployment then was also worse than it is today. The overall unemployment rate was 10.8 percent. Although the Great Recession initially created a higher percentage of long-term unemployment, it has subsided.

Causes

The two causes of long-term unemployment are CYCLICAL UNEMPLOYMENT and STRUCTURAL UNEMPLOYMENT. Cyclical unemployment itself is often caused by a recession. Structural unemployment occurs when workers’ skills no longer meet the needs of the job market.

Long-term cyclical and structural unemployment feed off of each other. A recession causes a massive rise in cyclical unemployment. Those who can’t find jobs become long-term unemployed. If out of work long enough, their skills become outdated. In time, this contributes to structural unemployment. They have less money to spend, resulting in reduced consumer demand.

It further slows economic growth, leading to more cyclical unemployment.

Many say that there are three other reasons for long-term unemployment: welfare, unemployment benefits, and unions. Government assistance programs require the recipients to look for work. It inflates unemployment statistics by 0.5 percent to 0.8 percent because not all would be actively looking. Those people really shouldn’t be considered part of the labor force. Benefits may also encourage people to hold out for better-paying jobs, further extending unemployment.

Unionization creates classical unemployment by forcing companies to offer higher wages than they otherwise would. These companies must lay off workers to maintain budget and profit goals. These workers may only have skills suited for a particular industry and may be unwilling to take lower wage jobs. That can result in structural, and ultimately long-term, unemployment.

Effects

Only 10 percent of the long-term unemployed find a job each month, according to a report by the San Francisco Federal Reserve. It is worse than the 30 percent per month of the short-term unemployed who are successful.

The situation is not hopeless though. The report also found that half of the long-term unemployed find a job in six months, and 75 percent do so within a year.

Even those who hadn’t found a job in 18 months find something in the end if they keep looking. The San Francisco Fed found that the chances of finding a job didn’t decline even though they had been unemployed for so long.

Being unemployed for six months to a year will almost always strain personal finances. A Pew Research study found that recession affected the long-term unemployed worse than others in the areas of personal relationships, career plans, and self-confidence. In particular, the long-term unemployed reported the following:

· More than half (56 percent) saw their income decline, compared to 42 percent of the short-term unemployed and 26 percent of those who kept their job.

· Almost half (46 percent) experienced strained family relations compared to 39 percent of those who weren’t unemployed as long. 43 percent lost close friendships.

· Almost one in four (38 percent) lost self-respect, and 24 percent sought professional help for depression compared with 29 percent and 10 percent of the short-term unemployed.

· The recession has had a “big impact” on their ability to achieve career goals for 43 percent of them compared to 28 percent of their short-term peers.

· More than 70 percent say they changed careers. Almost a third (29 percent) became underemployed with lower pay and benefits than their previous job. It’s no surprise that they became very pessimistic about their chances of finding a good job. Only 16 percent of the short-term unemployed were worse off.

A a SWEDISH STUDY found that the long-term unemployed began losing their ability to read. On average, a person who had been unemployed for a year dropped 5 percent on reading comprehension test scores.

How Long-term Unemployment Benefits Extensions Help

Federal unemployment benefits extensions assisted the long-term unemployed in their job search efforts.  Congress approved the extensions in the 2009 American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. They were re-authorized every year till 2013.

The benefits provided the long-term unemployed with up to 99 weeks of unemployment checks. It helped support them until they could find decent jobs. Without the extensions, they would have had to take any job they could, leading to underemployment. This might preclude them from ever catching up as their skills became more outdated.

Unemployment benefits only help those who were laid off, though. Some employers fire workers for cause or ask workers to resign in return for a severance package so that they don’t have to pay benefits. Workers who quit, part-time workers, the self-employed and students or mothers just entering the workforce aren’t eligible for benefits.

Also, not all of those eligible for benefits received the entire 99 weeks of unemployment checks. They had to live in a state that meets a minimum unemployment rate.

How to Calculate the Long-term Unemployment Rate

The long-term unemployment rate is easy to calculate because the BLS breaks down the statistics each month in the EMPLOYMENT SITUATION SUMMARY. The number of people who have been unemployed for 27 weeks or more is in TABLE A-12. It also calculates the percentage they make up of the total unemployed. This table gives you the data for the previous three months, seasonally adjusted. It also allows you to compare the last two months and year-over-year, not seasonally adjusted.

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Posted by Elvis on 03/15/18 •
Section Dying America • Section Workplace • Section Personal
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Monday, January 01, 2018

Personality and Unemployment

image: wumaoin in depressing job

Long-Term Unemployment Changes Personality Traits

Mental Health Daily
February 25, 2015

In the United States, there are an estimated 18 million people that are unemployed. Much of this is due to economic changes that have occurred within the past decade. In the year 1996, there were an estimated 750,000 households living on less than $2 per day (prior to receiving government benefits). As of the year 2011, this figure had doubled to a whopping 1.5 million households, as a result of many people getting laid off or being unable to find work.

From 1991 to the year 2001, the United States was in its longest ever period of economic expansion. Even from 2001 to 2007, the economy continued to expand with the “Dot Com” boom and technological advancements with the computer. In the year 2007, a period known as the “Great Moderation” came to an end as the ripple effects of the subprime mortgage crisis took hold. This “recession” eventually ended, but unemployment rates are still fairly high.

One problem is that there is significant competition for low-level jobs, and many people simply lack the skills to perform higher level functions. Additionally some people chose to remain unemployed due to the fact that they feel it is below their dignity to take a low paying job [after getting laid off from a better paying one]. Although being unemployed for a short duration may not be a huge setback, a new study highlights that long-term unemployment can not only be DETRIMENTAL to your psychological health, it can cause your personality to change for the worse.

Long-Term Unemployment Changes Personality Traits: The Research

Research at the University of Stirling headed by Christopher Boyce decided to investigate the psychological impact of being unemployed by determining how personality traits are affected with prolonged unemployment. What he found was that your core personality traits can change (usually for the worse) the longer you’re unemployed.

How the study worked

Sample: Boyce and his team of researchers examined a sample size of 6,769 German adults over a period of 4 years. Throughout this 4-year period, 210 people were unemployed for between 1 and 4 years, and 251 people were unemployed less than 1 year before getting a new job.

3,733 men
3,036 women

Methods: Throughout the 4 year period, personality tests were administered to all of the participants. These personality tests assessed the “Big Five” personality traits (in psychology) including: openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. The personality tests were given at different time points. It should also be noted that all participants were EMPLOYED AT THE TIME of the first test. By the second test, the participant was either: still employed, unemployed for 1-4 years, or re-employed after being unemployed.

Results: Unemployment resulted in significant change to personality traits such as: agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness. Those that were unemployed for a short-duration and then re-employed experienced minor change.

Agreeableness

Men: Men were found to experience an increase in agreeableness during their first 2 years of unemployment. However, after the initial couple years, agreeableness levels dropped, and went on to become lower than men who were employed.

Women: For women, agreeableness was a trait that declined with each year of unemployment. Throughout the 4 year period, levels of agreeableness continued to drop with the passing of another year.

Lead researcher, Boyce, speculated that in the earlier stages of unemployment, agreeableness may be a favorable trait to find another job. Certain incentives may make people behave more agreeable to improve their current situation. However, he also believes that after a 2 year period, those without jobs may be significantly less agreeable simply because their bleak outlook and unemployment has become psychologically solidified.

Conscientiousness

Men: It was also discovered that the longer men were without a job, the more their level of conscientiousness dropped. Conscientiousness is characterized by the desire to perform a task TO THE BEST OF ONE’S ABILITY, with thoroughness, organization, and vigilance. This is a trait that is specifically associated with enjoying your income. Since you have no income to enjoy, this may be partly why conscientiousness plummets.

Women: It seemed as though women actually gained conscientiousness in the early and late stages of being unemployed. Researchers believe that this may be due to the fact that women often assist in “caregiving” activities.

Openness

Men: After just 1 year of being unemployed, the trait of openness decreased among men. This means that their curiosity for the world around them experienced a significant drop.

Women: Although women didnt experience a sharp drop in levels of openness after just 1 year of being unemployed, they did experience a major drop by the second and third years of unemployment. Oddly enough, this trait significantly improved during their 4th year of unemployment.

SOURCE

Personality trait changes make it tougher to get hired

When you become unemployed, particularly for a long period of time, three of the “Big Five” personality traits take a turn for the worst. This often makes it even tougher for an individual to find work. If you all of a sudden become less agreeable with others, your conscientiousness plummets, and you have a less open personality, prospective employers may be more likely to turn you down for a job.

Agreeableness: This is a personality trait associated with sympathy for others, kindness, and cooperation. A drop in agreeableness may be associated with lack of a work routine, particularly one that involves social interaction. When you don’t have to work with others (or are alone a lot), there’s no need for the concept of teamwork to finish a particular task. At most jobs, you often have to do (at least a little bit of) work with someone else, bolstering your trait of agreeableness.

Conscientiousness: This trait is not only associated with performing a particular job well, its associated with motivation and ability to enjoy the fruits of one’s labor. If you aren’t conscientious, you probably don’t experience much motivation to get off your butt for work, let alone perform to the peak of your ability. When you’re unemployed, you have fewer opportunities to express this particular trait, leading to it becoming “dulled” in the process.

Openness: This is another social trait that allows you to allow (or try) new experiences. Those that have high levels of openness tend to try new things a lot. When you’re unemployed, you may not have the opportunity to engage in new experiences, particularly those that are often induced via socialization. This may also be related to the fact that when youre unemployed, you have less funds to partake in new, novel experiences (e.g. vacation). The lack of new stimuli for a prolonged period of time may make you less likely to engage in new experiences when finally given the opportunity.

Toll of unemployment more than just economic loss

The leader of the study (Boyce) believes that the effect of unemployment is more than just a financial loss. Unemployment creates a ripple effect that affects a person’s core personality traits often detrimentally. Therefore, he believes that the government should make their best effort to reduce unemployment rates to increase well being.

Boyce was quoted as stating, “Public policy therefore has a key role to play in preventing adverse personality change in society through both lower unemployment rates and offering greater support for the unemployed. Policies to reduce unemployment are therefore vital not only to protect the economy but also to enable positive personality growth in individuals.”

Additionally, he implied that our personalities are not “fixed” and that external factors (e.g. unemployment) can have a huge impact on personality traits. This means that there are other areas of your life such as relationships, friendships, hobbies, etc. that may impact the way your brain works and personality development.

Being unemployed creates neuroplastic changes in the brain

This research further supports the concept of self-directed neuroplasticity. Your entire brain functioning can change in response to wherever you focus your attention and put forth effort. If you become unemployed, you are now AWARE THAT YOU’RE UNEMPLOYED, aren’t contributing to anything meaningful, and your entire demeanor can change. If you continue to focus on the new way you’re FEELING and don’t find work, you’ll give more power to the new neural-pathways that develop.

Personality was long thought to remain stable over the lifetime, but researchers clearly demonstrate that something as simple as unemployment produces significant change for 3 of the “Big Five” personality traits. People that were previously conscientious, agreeable, and open, experienced major drops in expressions of these traits. Furthermore the changes (for the worse) were more significant based on duration of unemployment.

The longer the duration of being unemployed, the more severe the effects The personality changes undergo amplification the longer you remain unemployed. To decrease the likelihood that you’ll endure a debilitating personality change while you’re unemployed, it is recommended to find some sort of work (even if its volunteer work) to keep your favorable personality traits strong.

Suggestions for preventing unemployment-induced personality change

Below is a list of suggestions that you may want to keep in mind for mitigating the effects associated with unemployment.

Find a new job (ASAP): If you were working, but got laid off, fired, or quit your old job, the first thing you should do is find a new job as soon as possible. DonҒt wait for yourself to feel better before you start applying for something new, just do it right away. Getting a new job as soon as possible will result in the least amount of personality change. Some would argue that your personality wont change at all if you find work right away.

Health: While unemployed, make sure you are taking care of your personal health. Eating an optimal diet for mental health and getting plenty of exercise will provide significant benefit (Read: Psychological benefits of exercise). Do not neglect your health by taking up drinking and/or drugs to cope with your unemployment, this may lead to more detrimental outcomes.

Learn new skills: If you feel as though your current employment skills are outdated, take the time to learn new ones. Really put in the effort to find a mentor, teacher, and/or program that will help you learn what you need to know. Many people shy away from learning new skills when they are necessary in order to stay afloat in this economy.

Practice current skills: In order to keep your current skill-set as sharp as possible, you need to practice them. If you are a writer, keep writing everyday so that you donҒt lose your ability to perform well. If your skill involves designing, keep designing daily to improve upon your existing technique. Practicing your skills will ensure that there is no rustӔ or decline associated with your ability throughout a period of temporary unemployment.

Relentless pursuit: Those that get jobs quickly after becoming unemployed are relentless in their pursuit. Some are so relentless that they dont really care where they have to work, theyҒre going to work. If it means working at McDonalds or even Wal-Mart, they’re going to take the work because not only will it keep them busy, they will get social interaction, and will still earn some money. The goal is to continuously pursue work (particularly the career that you want), while not being overly picky. Remember, you can always leave a job you accept, but you cant leave a job offer you turn down.

Social connections: Stay as socially involved and connected with the community as possible. Not only can socialization help you maintain beneficial personality traits, someone you talk to may help you get a job. Having favorable social connections is a powerful tool that you can leverage to get work.

Stay busy: Avoid becoming lackadaisical as a result of newfound unemployment. Keep yourself busy so that you aren’t dwelling on the fact that youre unemployed. Dwelling on the depressing reality that you’re unemployed will further strengthen its control over you and your brain. Keep yourself occupied with friends, family, volunteer work, housework, and applying for jobs.

Why unemployment may cause psychological harm

There are several reasons that being unemployed may cause personality change and/or psychological harm (for some individuals). Most of these stem from feeling socially isolated for a prolonged period of time.

Social isolation: Perhaps the biggest detriment associated with unemployment is a social disconnect. If you relied on your co-workers to be your primary social contacts in the past, you may not feel like you can talk to anyone. During the day, most other people are working, and you may start to feel socially isolated from society.

Belief system: Being unemployed can quickly change your belief system as well. You may start to believe that the reason you donŒt have a job is due to the fact that you are incompetent and incapable of producing any value. While this is not likely to be true, many people start to believe that they are incapable and/or dont have the necessary skills for a job if they donҒt get hired.

Decreased income: When you aren’t earning any money from a job, you probably won’t be able to afford quality foods, top medical care, and living in a quality community. A simple decline in one area of your life such as that of dietary intake can have major consequences that influence other areas (e.g. cognitive function and mental health). In the past you may have been able to afford quality things, but with dwindling funds, you may have to settle for a poorer quality of life.

Depression: Losing a job can result in many people feeling depressed. They may become depressed for a variety of reasons, most of which stem from a loss. The depression may stem from lack of stability and a structured routine that a job provides. The depression may be exacerbated by lack of finances and the psychological stress associated with getting laid off and/or fired.

Anxiety: Some people become incredibly anxious that they don’t have work. This is due to the fact that their job loss was unexpected, and they “panic” because they have never been without work. Stress hormones takeover the body and a person may even have a nervous breakdown. Others become FEARFUL THAT THEY’LL RUN OUT OF MONEY, aren’t able to stay in the “loop,” or begin to feel inferior to others as a result of not having work.

Loneliness: You may start to feel incredibly LONELY now that you are without work. While loneliness is not the same as social isolation, many people feel lonely as a result of lack of social contact. If you were around many people at work, but now you don’t have a community of people to interact with, you may end up feeling more depressed, and in some cases SUICIDAL.

Perceptual changes: Your entire self-perception may undergo change when you become unemployed. While working you may have viewed yourself as a competent breadwinner for the family. Now that you are no longer working and earning money, you may start to become depressed and feel more uncertain about your future. Even small perceptual changes can be detrimental to your mental health.

SOURCE

Personal experience with unemployment

Although I don’t consider the results of the study to be conclusive and in no way does correlation equal causation, but I can testify for the fact that my levels of: agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness have all dropped (significantly) during the time Ive been unemployed. While employed and occupied with work, I actually found it easier to stay motivated in all areas of life.

Even the little bit of social interaction that I got from the job I worked helped me feel less lonely and socially isolated. If I’m being objective, my personality has changed since Ive been unemployed. Fortunately I wasn’t laid off or fired by my employer, rather I left my old career due to relocation. Below are some phases I personally experienced, many of which I believe go hand-in-hand with post-college depression.

Phase 1: Anxiety / Depression

Initially I experienced a lot of anxiety about where I was going to find new work and stay socially connected. The anxiety was intertwined with a depressed feeling that I shouldve stayed at my old job. I was nervous about making enough money to keep myself alive and functional and I was depressed that I lacked the social skills to go out and get a new job. The more I focused on my reality of being unemployed, the worse the anxiety and depression became.

Phase 2: Existential crisis

Likely due to lack of structure or routine in my day (that work provides) I went through an existential crisis. I got caught up with several addictions (many of which were difficult to overcome). At one point I was caught up in drinking and/or popping pain pills. Eventually the addiction shifted to sex and/or porn. I couldnҒt figure out what I was meantӔ to do here or my purpose for existing. It took me a long time before I realized that if I wanted purpose and meaning, I had to create it.

Phase 3: Social withdrawal

I went through another phase characterized by loss of social skills. I didnt lose all of my social skills at once, rather they just slowly declined with decreased usage. The withdrawal made me less relatable to others, less likely to approach others, and really decreased my courage. I became significantly more timid and less likely to explore new places (e.g. restaurants).

Phase 4: Cognitive impairment

I believe my cognition and wit declined in part due to lack of usage. I know for a fact that my writing isn’t as precise or conscientious as it was in the past. I still try my best, but my cognitive abilities have declined as a result of decreased usage. The ability of socialization to keep me stimulated and mentally “aroused” lead to better cognitive function. The fact that I dont get as much socialization as I did in the past has hampered my cognition to an extent.

Phase 5: Motivational deficits

Motivation declines significantly without social contact and/or a structured routine. Even if your workplace is crappy, you can still stay motivated. In fact, many times people that you dislike working with may serve to further motivate you to change and/or contribute more. It is nature for many to want to compete with others (in terms of production). Being around others can be inspiring and/or motivating in that there’s sometimes a bit of competition.

Phase 6: Realization

At some point, I realized that I had been declining in virtually all areas of my life, including my ability to think critically and write. Upon realizing this had occurred, I took conscious steps to slowly improve my situation. The key is to build some degree of positive momentum when you’ve trapped yourself into thinking that you’ll never be able to make a living or have a good life.

I created this momentum by forcing myself to writehere everyday, which is part of the routine that Ive established. I also make myself go to the gym 4x per week on the same schedule, and attend a ғgroup function 2x per week - regardless of how I feel. I walk outside daily, force myself to call family and/or friends, and talk to people when I have the opportunity. To mitigate the loneliness I also frequently listen to podcasts. Not only does it help me learn new things and gain perspectives, but the comfort of hearing a human voice decreases my loneliness.

Keep in mind: Correlation Doesn’t Equal Causation

It is important to realize that although this study discovered that several personality traits experienced change during times of unemployment, causation is difficult to establish. Some people may actually experience an increase in agreeableness and openness as a result of increased socialization during their time of being unemployed. Although there may be common trends among the unemployed, not everyone experiences this same effect.

There are individuals who lose their job and actually spend more time building quality relationships and making healthy lifestyle changes. It should also be mentioned that this study was conducted in a population of German citizens. Would we find the same trends among populations from other countries? It cannot be assumed until someone carries out a similar study in the particular country of interest.

Certain countries may utilize different coping strategies than others for dealing with unemployment. In some areas, being unemployed may not result in as steep of decline in traits like openness, agreeableness, and conscientiousness. It would also be worth investigating whether being employed (particularly in a positive environment) could increase the strength of certain (favorable) “Big Five” traits.

In other words, investigate whether people are deficient in certain traits by placing them into positive work-environments. Determine whether their personalities change over the course of 4 years. Similarly it may be worth investigating whether high-stress jobs and/or other unsatisfactory careers may serve as detrimental to one’s personality and/or mental health. Perhaps Working a DEAD END JOB may be worse for your personality than being unemployed.

Note: It should also be understood that not everyone follows the same decline in expression of the three traits within the study with long-term unemployment.  Realize that there is significant variation based upon the individual.

Adapting to the current economic times

Its really sink or swim, fly or fall, eat or be eaten, adapt or get left in the dust these days in regards to the economy, which makes it tough for many people. From a historical perspective, many people held cushy jobs that allowed them to earn a healthy living without actually contributing much to society. Now that those jobs are becoming obsolete and companies are downsizing, itҒs becoming more difficult to find work unless you have skills to fit the fast-changing economic times.

Additionally with a growing population and increased demand for technological-related skills, older generations are having a tough time finding work. The unfortunate reality is that if you are unemployed, you need to find something to fill that emotional void. Sure its about making enough money to support yourself, but the other aspects that come with a job such as social interaction (even if they aren’t positive interactions) keep the brain alertand stimulated and are often underrated.

Lack of social stimulation over a prolonged period is downright unhealthy and could lead to various forms of neurodegeneration. The age old adage in regards to personality seems to apply: if you don’t use it, you lose it. The less you express certain personality traits, the less likely you will be able to use them in the future. Similarly with your work-related skills, the less you use them, the more likely you are to lose them - all of which decrease your value in the eyes of an employer.

If you are unemployed, find a new job as soon as possible for not only the finances, but the socialization that accompanies it. You could be preserving many positive personality traits by getting a job as soon as you are unemployed. The longer you wait, the tougher it will be not only for you to find work, but to maintain positive personality traits such as: agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness.

SOURCE

Posted by Elvis on 01/01/18 •
Section Dealing with Layoff • Section Personal
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Monday, October 02, 2017

The New Reality Of Old Age In America

images/help.jpg

By Mary Jordan and Kevin Sullivan
Washington Post
Sept. 30, 2017

Richard Dever had swabbed the campground shower stalls and emptied 20 garbage cans, and now he climbed slowly onto a John Deere mower to cut a couple acres of grass.

"I’m going to work until I die, if I can, because I need the money,” said Dever, 74, who drove 1,400 miles to this Maine campground from his home in Indiana to take a temporary job that pays $10 an hour.

Dever shifted gently in the tractor seat, a rubber cushion carefully positioned to ease the bursitis in his hip - a snapshot of the new reality of old age in America.

People are living longer, more expensive lives, often without much of a safety net. As a result, record numbers of Americans older than 65 are working now nearly 1 in 5. That proportion has risen steadily over the past decade, and at a far faster rate than any other age group. Today, 9 million senior citizens work, compared with 4 million in 2000.

While some work by choice rather than need, millions of others are entering their golden years with alarmingly fragile finances. Fundamental changes in the U.S. retirement system have shifted responsibility for saving from the employer to the worker, exacerbating the nation’ s rich-poor divide. Two recent recessions devastated personal savings. And at a time when 10,000 baby boomers are turning 65 every day, Social Security benefits have lost about a third of their purchasing power since 2000.

Polls show that most older people are more worried about running out of money than dying.

“There is no part of the country where the majority of middle-class older workers have adequate retirement savings to maintain their standard of living in their retirement,” said Teresa Ghilarducci, a labor economist who specializes in retirement security. “People are coming into retirement with a lot more anxiety and a lot less buying power.”

As a result, many older workers are hitting the road as work campers also called “workampers” - those who shed costly lifestyles, purchase RVs and travel the nation picking up seasonal jobs that typically offer hourly wages and few or no benefits.

Amazons “CamperForce” program hires thousands of these silver-haired migrant workers to box online orders during the Christmas rush. (Amazon chief executive Jeffrey P. Bezos owns The Washington Post.) Walmart, whose giant parking lots are famous for welcoming RV travelers, has hired elderly people as store greeters and cashiers. Websites such as the Workamper News list jobs as varied as ushering at NASCAR tracks in Florida, picking sugar beets in Minnesota and working as security guards in the Texas oil fields.

In Maine, which calls itself “Vacationland,” thousands of seniors are drawn each summer to the state’s rocky coastline and picturesque small towns, both as vacationers and seasonal workers. In Bar Harbor, one of the states most popular tourist destinations, well-to-do retirees come ashore from luxury cruise ships to dine on $30 lobsters and $13 glasses of sauvignon blanc җ leaving tips for other senior citizens waiting on oceanfront tables, driving Olis Trolley buses or taking tickets for whale-watching tours.

The Devers have noticed this economic divide. They found their campground jobs online and drove here in May, with plans to stay until the season ends in October. On a recent day off, they took a bus tour near Bar Harbor and Acadia National Park, where the tour guide pointed out the oceanfront Rockefeller estate and Martha StewartҒs 12-bedroom mansion.

The ones who go on these ritzy, ritzy cruises to all these islands in Maine, “I don’t know how they got all that money. Maybe they were born into it,” said Jeannie, 72. “And then you see this poor little old retired person next door, who can hardly keep going. And hes got his little trailer.”

On Election Day last November, the Devers expressed their frustration. For more than 50 years, they had supported mainstream candidates in both parties, casting their ballots for John F. Kennedy, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush. This time, they concluded that the Democrat, Hillary Clinton, would be no help to them. And they found the Republican standard-bearer, Donald Trump, too mouthy.Ӕ

So, for the first time in their lives, they cast protest votes, joining legions of disaffected voters whose aversion to Clinton helped propel Trump into the White House. Richard voted for Libertarian Gary Johnson. Jeannie left her presidential ballot blank.

We are all talking about this, but not politicians. Helping people build a nest egg is not on their agenda,Ӕ Jeannie said. We are the forgotten people.Ӕ

This job is a blessing

The Devers first hit the road in their 33-foot American Star RV when Jeannie turned 65. Since then, they have worked jobs in Wyoming, Pennsylvania and now Maine. In addition to their $10-an-hour paychecks, the couple receives $22,000 a year from Social Security, an amount that has barely budged while healthcare and other costs have soared.

If we didn’t work, our money would run out real quick, Richard said.

On a recent Friday, the Devers met for lunch back at their RV, Richard’s plaid shirt and suspenders dusty from mowing the drought-dried grass. Jeannie had spent the morning working the front desk in the campground office, where she checks people in and sells bug spray, marshmallows and other camping essentials.

As usual, she had arrived a half-hour early for her 9 a.m. shift to make sure everything was tidy for the first customer. Full of cheer and wearing white sneakers, she shies from talking about her macular degeneration and arthritic knuckles. “This job is a blessing,” she said.

“President Trump is one year younger than Jeannie and, she said, has more money than we can even imagine.” She muses that he probably will hand a lot down to his kids - another generation of rich people who, Richard and Jeannie believe, tend to be born that way.

The Devers know how hard it is to make it on your own.

In 1960, when John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon were running for president, Richard started repairing homes and Jeannie made root beer floats in a drugstore back home in southern Indiana, near the Kentucky border. Later, they ran a business that put vinyl siding on homes and a little start-up called Southwest Stuff that sold Western-themed knickknacks.

They raised two children and lived well enough but never had much extra cash to put away. After a lifetime of working, they have a small mobile home in Indiana, a couple of modest life insurance policies and $5,000 in savings.

The Devers are better off than many Americans. One in 5 have no savings, and millions retire with nothing in the bank. Nearly 30 percent of households headed by someone 55 or older have neither a pension nor any retirement savings, according to a 2015 report from the U.S. Government Accountability Office.

From the camper’s compact refrigerator, Jeannie pulled a tub of meatloaf she had cooked in her crockpot a couple of days earlier.

“Are you good with just a sandwich?” she called to Richard.

“Just a sandwich, thanks,” he said, emerging from the bedroom in a fresh plaid shirt, bought for $2 at Goodwill. His blue-striped suspenders dangled below his waistband.

Without a word, Jeannie leaned over and slipped them over his shoulders a daily task that keeps getting harder for the man she married 55 years ago.

A Wall Street gold mine

While most Americans are unprepared for retirement, rich older people are doing better than ever. Among people older than 65, the wealthiest 20 percent own virtually all of the nations $25 trillion in retirement accounts, according to the Economic Policy Institute.

Employers have gradually shifted from traditional pensions, with guaranteed benefits for life, to 401(k) accounts that run out when the money has been spent. Those accounts work best for the wealthy, who not only have the extra cash to invest but also use 401(k)s to shelter their income from taxes while they are working.

People with little financial know-how often find 401(k)s confusing. Millions of people opt not to participate, or contribute too little, or take money out at the wrong time and are charged huge fees.

Even people who manage to save for retirement often face a grim calculation: Among people between 55 and 64 who have retirement accounts, the median value of those accounts is just over $120,000, according to the Federal Reserve. So people are forced to guess how long they might live and budget their money accordingly, knowing that one big health problem, or a year in a nursing home, could wipe it all out.

The system has been a gold mine for Wall Street. Brokerages and insurance companies that manage retirement accounts earned roughly $33 billion in fees last year, according to the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College.

Ted Benna, a retirement consultant who is credited with creating the modern 401(k), called those fees ғoutrageous. Many people ԗ especially those who need the money the most donגt even know they are paying them, he said.

Compared with the old system of company pensions, the new retirement system does not serve the average American well, said Ghilarducci, the labor economist, who teaches at the New School in New York.

It’s as if we moved from a system where everybody went to the dentist to a system where everybody now pulls their own teeth, she said.

The rich help the rich

A few miles up the road from the Devers, Joanne Molnar, 64, and her husband, Mark, 62, live in their RV and work at another campground.

For 21 years, Joanne worked as a manager for a day-care company in Fairfield, Conn. She said she paid regularly into a 401(k) account that, at one point, was worth more than $40,000.

By the time she left the company in 2008, however, its value had fallen to $2,000.

Molnar said the company’s owner thought he was doing his 100 employees a favor by managing their retirement accounts. But he didn;t know what he was doing, she said. Instead of being angry with him, sheҔs furious with the 401(k) system.

“It stinks,” she said.

As Joannes retirement account was further battered by the Great Recession in 2008, the Molnars sold Mark’s share of his piano-restoration business and their home in Connecticut, which had lost value but kept attracting higher and higher property tax bills.

They bought a 25-foot RV for $13,000 and started looking for work near their three sons, one of whom lives near Bar Harbor, and their six grandchildren. After finishing at the Maine campground this fall, they plan to look for work in Texas or Wisconsin, near their other children.

Like the Devers, the Molnars say they are frustrated that the problems of older Americans do not seem to register in Washington.

The little people are drowning, and nobody wants to talk about it,” Joanne said. “Us middle-class, or lower-class, people are just not part of anything politicians decide.”

Last year, the Molnars grew more optimistic when they heard Trump promising in campaign speeches to help the “forgotten people.” Like a majority of older voters, Joanne voted for Trump. She said she thought maybe a businessman, an outsider, would finally address the economic issues that matter to her.

But the Molnars said that with each passing week of the Trump presidency, they are growing less hopeful.

“We’ll see. I’m just getting a little worried now,” Joanne said. “I just think he’s not going to be helping the lower class as much as he thought he would.

The recent battle to repeal Obamacare was “kind of scary,” she said, noting that Trump supported legislation that would have slashed Medicaid and left more people without government-subsidized insurance. Although the effort failed, Joanne and Mark remain nervous.

“The rich help the rich, and I’m starting to think that not enough will fall down to us,” Mark said, as he methodically bolted together one of 170 new picnic tables.

Mark signed up to begin collecting Social Security this summer. Even with those monthly checks, he figures hell have to work at least 10 more years.

FORGET THE GOVERNMENT. It’s got to be ‘We the People,’ he said. ”WE’RE ON OUR OWN.” You have to fend for yourself.

It’s not fun getting old

At the end of a long day at work, Richard and Jeannie Dever met back at their RV. After mowing the grass in the hot sun, Richard, who is just shy of his 75th birthday, was sweating under his baseball cap. He was tired.

It’s not fun getting old, he said.

Asked whether he was more worried about dying or running out of money, Richard thought about it, then said with a shrug, “I guess its a toss-up.”

Jeannie took off her sneakers and rested her swollen ankles. Richard recently cut back to 33 hours a week, but she was still working 40 hours, sometimes a few more.

A few days earlier, she had spent four hours cleaning a trailer where the guests had used a fire extinguisher to put out a small stove fire. She got down on the linoleum floor and lay on her stomach to reach the dust under the stove.

In the years ahead, Jeannie said, she hopes to find a job where she can sit down.

SOURCE

Posted by Elvis on 10/02/17 •
Section Revelations • Section Dying America • Section Personal
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Saturday, August 12, 2017

Deaths Of Despair II

image: man about to kill himself

Just because a person attempts suicide doesn’t mean they want to die. Rather, often they have lost what I call the, “power of hope”.  When faced with a BAD SITUATION that has NO END IN SIGHT, coupled with the helpless feeling that NOTHING YOU CAN DO will make a difference, it’s all too easy to LOSE HOPE. AT SOME POINT suicide for some becomes a viable option, rather than CONTINUNG TO FACE the constant pain and suffering that life has become. If you can give someone who is contemplating suicide merely the glimmer of hope, that is often enough to get them through the rough patch to consider other options.
- White, Middle-Age Suicide In America Skyrocket

This May Be Responsible for the High Suicide Rate Among White, American Men

By Philip Perry
Big Think
July 2, 2017

TODAY, being white and male are the two single greatest risk factors for suicide in the US. That’s according to the authors of: EXPLAINING SUICIDE:  PATTERNS, MOTIVATIONS WHAT NOTES REVEAL. Psychology professor Cheryl Meyer, is among them. She says “hegemonic masculinity is what’s killing these men. They try to live up to a social stereotype no one could measure up to. Not only that, their model doesn’t square with today’s world.

In 2015, two Princeton economists found that the death rate among white, middle-aged men, rather than falling, like with most other groups, was instead rising. The mortality rate for working class white men, between the ages of 45 and 54 had been steadily rising since 1999.

According to suicide prevention expert, Dr. Christine Moutier, white, middle-aged men account for 70% of deaths from suicide each year. Nine-tenths of them are from a lower socioeconomic class. 

“These are being called deaths of despair.” Harvard public policy professor Robert D. Putnam, told the BBC, “This is part of the larger emerging pattern of evidence of the links between poverty, hopelessness and health. Veterans are often one of the largest segments within this group. According to a 2014 Veterans Affairs (VA) report, 20 commit suicide each day. 65% of them are age 50 or older.

A larger segment of this group has chosen the slow suicide route. Many are succumbing to things like alcohol liver disease or a drug overdose. So what;s causing this? White men without a college degree have seen their employment prospects dwindle in the last few decades, mostly due to mechanization.

Their mental health has withered as a result. In terms of economics, globalization and income inequality have worsened the problem as well, though most economists agree mechanization is the biggest cause. However, middle-aged black and Hispanic men at the same education level, have also been impacted by these same economic forces. Yet, the suicide rate among these groups hasn’t risen.

Besides ECONOMIC WOES, some experts point to the heightened divorce rate among men in this age-range. Whether married or single, women tend to open up to friends and family about their troubles and build a strong network of support. Whereas men generally don’t. If they open up at all, its usually to their partner. But for the divorced or single, there’s no such outlet.

Hegemonic masculinity, according to Meyer, is the idea that ones machismo must be broadcast constantly, no matter what he is dealing with or how he feels inside. It’s stoicism taken to the nth degree. Several studies have found that hegemonic masculinity is detrimental to mens well-being and health outcomes, including Sabo & Gordon, 1995; Courtenay, 2000; and Lee & Owens, 2002.

Psychotherapist Daphne Rose Kingma is the author of the book, The Men We Never Knew. She said, “Because of the way boys are socialized, their ability to deal with emotions has been systematically undermined. Men are taught, point-by-point, not to feel, not to cry, and not to find words to express themselves.” Everyone needs to be vulnerable sometimes, and to have someone to confide in and gain support from. Yet, men are taught to feel ashamed or even guilty for doing so.

The customary outlook on masculinity has been shaken to its core by the realities of today’s labor market. Men were traditionally seen as providers. But today, many women earn more than the men in their lives. American women for the first time are more likely to earn a college degree than men. A ”FEMINIZATION” of the labor market has begun as well, offering far more positions where traditional female-oriented skills are valued.

Caucasian men have enjoyed white hegemony in the US. That’s changing. As the “Browning of America” takes shape, whites will become a minority, projected to take place by 2045. Although this may usher in more social equality, the loss of a given-at-birth superiority will chafe a certain segment of the Caucasian community.

Besides the changing status of white men with no college degree, there’s a problem with how we view masculinity in general. It stands in the way of those who are in trouble, getting the help they need and in fact, it isn’t healthy for men or society as a whole, either. In most cases, men are suffering from an eroded sense of self and identity.

They are trying to fit into a role that’s no longer supported by the real world. One way to overcome this, is to update our definition of masculinity for the 21st century. Another would be to build a more gender neutral society, where everyone is looked upon on an individual basis, despite their gender. Regardless of the path we take, men and society as a whole, must become less rigid regarding It’s outlook on masculinity and somehow adopt a more pluralistic view.

To learn more about the suicide epidemic and you can do about it, click HERE

SOURCE

DEATHS OF DESPAIR

Posted by Elvis on 08/12/17 •
Section Dying America • Section Spiritual Diversions • Section Personal
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